Celebration



Whining



Question

I saw you guys have been oppressing new authors while I was away. :) I don't have much to say on that specific subject because the last time after such discussions I ended up spending months on writing A Beginner's Guide. I wish more people pimped it so more new authors could see it, but that never happened. But oh well, I did what I could and I'm pleased because now, when someone gets accused of oppressing new authors, I can pat myself on the back and say, "Even if they mean you, they're just wrong and you know it." All my thoughts are there, including suggestions on how to package and sell your fics and how to get readership. I have nothing more to offer except continue to review and rec fics I like, no matter who wrote them.

However, I'm troubled by something else. As I read some threads yesterday, I realized that I'm doing some things differently. And now I'm worried that I'm not being as kind and as encouraging as I thought. So here is a list of my priorities and reading and reviewing habits. If you have time, please tell me: 1) Am I doing it wrong? and 2) How are you doing it?

1. Do check out this Harry/Draco fanpoem by kaxenji. It's seriously awesome and clever. It has a PLOT.

2. Also check out this Harry/Draco drabble by joan_waterhouse. It's completely adorable. ♥

3. Happy Birthday okydoky! I don't know if you like them blond or dark-haired, so take your pick. *squishes*


4. Happy Slightly Bleated Birthday, envious_ema! (So sorry I'm late, love! ♥) You get Jared and Jensen, obviously.


5. Happy Early Birthday, softly_sweetly! I have some bondage pics for you, love. :D ♥


6. Also, I wrote fic! Yay! It's 3K so I get to call it a fic. :D It was inspired by the pic below (found by nuclearsugars! So thank you.) For a minute I thought I'll be able to post it today because I sent it to Cheryl and she sent it right back fully betaed (I suspect witchcraft). ♥ But my sister and, more importantly, her kids are coming over so no more porn posting today. :(

First, a big thank you to weasleywench for the virtual bundle of gifts! *squishes tight* ♥ And a big thank you to my dear kaykayen for the adorable love letter. *glomps* ♥

And second, the WIP meme! What? I do HAVE a WiP and I can HAS MEME! OKAY!?

Post a single sentence from each WIP you have (or as many as you want to pick). No context, no explanations. No more than one sentence.

1. "Excellent." Potter grinned, his lips still a little wet and shiny, catching the light of the candles. "Well then, your place or mine?"

*\o/* Okay, that's three sentences, but ignore that.

Chapter ten will be posted tomorrow. I think.

Um. Sorry. It'll be late obviously. I've slacked at the beginning of the week, which means I had to actually do some work towards the end of it. :( Plus, the virgin!sex is a bit complicated. So many words. Man! It took Draco 3000 words of babbling to take his clothes off. *shakes head* And Harry had to use tricks!

I'm just taking a little break. From work and writing.

Oh! I wanted to say, thank you, cleo_jay, for your VGift! *snuggles silly* She has wisely concluded that since I already have a pair of handcuffs I definitely need a whip. *looks at her profile page a bit fearfully* I must use them somewhere. Er ... that wasn't TMI. They are virtual gifts so I'd use them virtually. Though whips make me think OW! But Harry could totally carry one around, but not use it. Just because it'll be hot.

Which reminds me. You know how aliens want me to write porn? I have more proof. They're giving me these little clues, you see.

( Observe. )

This should have been a squickier post (for me) but I gave up on a pairing I've planned to write. (Actually, it's written in all of its disturbing glory and I might post it when something pisses me off! :D)

Four ficlets, all NC-17, roughly between 500-1000 words.

If you don't mind some het and some Ginny, press one.
If you'd rather just read about guy sex, press two.
If you'd rather read just straight up Harry/Draco, press three.
If you don't want bottom!Draco, press four.
If you want a story with a plot ... Dude, what are you doing here?

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For ginny88. Happy Belated Birthday! Have some Draco/Harry/Ginny. Oh Grace, I've promised you this like ten years ago. Epilogue compliant and a wee bit angsty.
( This was all wrong. )

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For draco_pet. Happy Belated Birthday! Have some Harry/Draco/Snape. You are obligated to like this cos I totes squicked myself. LOL!
( It wasn't that bad, being dead. )

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For lavillanueva. Happy Belated Birthday! Have some Harry/Draco. Let's see, hair-pulling, a little bondage, top!Harry. I was gonna write you something else, something a bit ... kinkier, but uh, yeah. But Harry is wearing a police uniform. Who could mind that?
( Muggles were silly things. )

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For lijahlover. Happy Belated Birthday! You asked specifically for a Harry/Draco PWP so here it is. Prompt was top!vampire!Draco. Forgive me, I had to make fun of Draco's fangs as I can't think about them without laughing since I've read alaana_fair's awesome vampire fic. :D
( Draco should have mentioned it. )

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Do ignore this first cut if you want. I'll ramble about birthday!fics and such.

( I'm a little crazy and I overplan things. Forgive me. This is my silliness/neurosis. )

Anyway, now that I've rambled ... I've missed quite a few birthdays. Last month I made no "get your presents" post. And some of these people are on my flist for a long time and I know them well and I feel horrible. So I've written you a couple of flash fics. Four are posted today, four will be posted tomorrow or Wednesday. Or even very late today. (I'm home today. Wheeee!)

IMPORTANT! There are some pairings in these fics that squick ME, I still wrote them cos I love y'all. But please, they are all clearly labelled, and if some or one of them squick you — just skip it. Please, don't whine at me and yell offence. I'm posting four of them at once to spare your flists. This mostly goes for the later post, cos I know those parings will squick some. And that's okay. I'm not forcing you to read. Each fic is behind its own cut. They are ALL NC-17 rated, around 500 words long, and are PURE SMUT. You have been warned.

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For ravenqueen55. Happy Belated Birthday! Have some Albus/Scorpius smut. I kid you not.
( The Sorting Hat was stupid. )

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For awayfromlife. Happy Belated Birthday! Have some Harry/Draco. I didn't forget the almighty chocolate syrup!
( It was really hard to stay mad at Draco. )

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For marguerite_26. Happy Belated Birthday! Have some Harry/Scorpius, teacher/student smut. Seriously. :D
( Again? )

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For thesamanthahope. Happy Belated Birthday! Have some Harry/Draco. Bottom!Harry and a club!fic. See? I KNOW stuff about people!
( Harry didn't even know why he was here; never mind why he was doing this. )

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FIC REC

I'm sure everyone and their mother already read this, but it can't hurt if I mention it again. This is by far the funniest story ever written and if you haven't read it, then run and do so now. (Heed the warning, however.)

Title: A Small Problem
Author: enchanted_jae
Pairing: H/D
Rating: NC17
Warning(s): Hell yes, there are warnings! Unfortunately, I really don't know how to put it into words...Er, don't read if you don't have an adventurous sort of humor. (Characters engaged in sexual activity are of age.)
Word count: 1225
Summary: A potion mishap won't prevent Harry from having sex with his boyfriend.

Also, after you read it, don't forget to check out yumekutteikt's awesome rendering of a scene from this fic.

ART RECS

alaana_fair made a convincing post yesterday, and I felt like I've just been chastised by my mother (I mean that lovingly, Alaana!) so I thought I should rec some of the gorgeous Harry/Draco art from the Art fest. I was going to list quite a few pieces, but then I realized that nobody ever clicks if you make a long list of things. So I just picked four that I loved extra hard and tried to articulate why I love them. (Naturally, I'm not reccing the ones that depicted scenes from my fics again, as I believe I'm VERY partial.)

• Shampoo and a kiss (PG): I confess I have a thing about hair-washing. It's just such an intimate thing to share, more intimate than one would think. And here I love Harry's hand placed gently on the back of Draco's head, the image additionally sweetened by Draco's hand mirroring the touch. And with Harry leaning forward, his eyes closed; and Draco leaning backwards, his eyes open; this seems like a lovely, subtle display of contrast between Harry and Draco. It's a joy to look at.
• Clover (R): First thing that came to my mind was: "Oh! Pretty!" The second thing that occurred to me was: Well, there's a lot of art like this: Harry and Draco sharing a peaceful moment, but what makes this so special? Looking at it, I think it's the incredible amount of detail in the background and especially the shadows of the leaves that give you that happy "I'm walking through the woods on a sunny day" feeling. I shudder to think how much time and effort went into this pic.
• November to February (R): Now, if this wasn't an anonymous fest and if I knew the artist, I'd say I'm impressed with her different-than-usual theme and colouring. Because the snark and humour are still there, but due to this author's amazing talent of drawing realistic expressions (and to an extent, due to the colouring) you can feel the depth of Harry's and Draco's emotions. Draco's snark and humour show his hurt and bitterness so clearly it's almost painful, and usually his lines would just make me laugh. I'm not quite sure how the artist managed to achieve this; I can just be impressed. But of course, I don't know who this is, so I can't actually say the above paragraph.
• Delicious (NC-17): The obvious reasons I like this pic aside ... I thought (long and hard) about why is this so beautiful in addition of being hot? To me, their bodies look appropriately raw because of the colour, and because of the shading, it looks as though all the muscles in their bodies had contracted. It makes them look like a statue; like they were frozen in this moment. But this, instead of making the picture static, makes the scene almost burst with power. This is how I would describe this picture: it captures a moment of raw passion and it makes you stare at it and wait for it to explode even though you know it won't.

QUESTION

Basically, it's a fic (or art) search. ( I'm slightly embarrassed. )

COOKIE

If you read all this, you deserve a cookie.

( An NC-17 rated, Harry/Draco cookie. )

I think now I'm a true member of fandom. Yesterday I've received my first flame! Wheee! Okay, it wasn't really a "Die, you bitch!" kinda thing, but it was definitely a "Oh you stepped on my toes so hard!" review.

Remember my fic The True Veela Story? This is what the summary says on FF.Net (of course this happened on FF.Net): Draco is a veela. He has to mate with Harry or die. Naturally, he chooses to die. Parody. FLUFF. HPDM. SLASH.
And this is (among other things) what I have in the story header:
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Warnings: NOT ANGST. THIS IS FLUFF!

And this is a review I've received yesterday:

Add a "slash" description in the summary please.

I actually started reading this with the impression "Nice, a Draco-veela story that actually doesn't end with the two together like every other bloody slash story."

I was wrong. Waste of my time (even if it was a few minutes only.)

BAHAHAHAHA! I don't know what s/he means by "Add a "slash" description in the summary." And I don't know what's more ridiculous. The thought that s/he somehow missed the giant SLASH warning, or the thought that s/he's asking me to explain what slash is in the story summary. I mean, I've listed the pairing and everything. And this bit: story that actually doesn't end with the two together like every other bloody slash story.

LOL! What? Bloody slash stories and their happy endings! Can't these gay guys just die in the end? And I actually SAID this is fluff not angst. I mean WOW! I suppose s/he expected a Harry/Draco bashing story. But if I wrote a non-H/D story and said it was a H/D story, wouldn't that be trolling? Is s/he upset I WASN'T trolling?

Should I respond? I don’t know what to say. I so want to know what "Add a "slash" description in the summary," means.

( Cut for ramblings and porn talk. )

ETA: Why? Why? I was perfectly HAPPY and then WHAM! I said I wouldn't DO fests. NOT YET! *weeps* I'll have to write something LONG! With thousands of words. No, I don't have to but I HAVE TO! What possessed me? WHY?

The lovely people who saved you from excessive spamming

1.) The wonderful talented winter_june made this for me. For my unbirthday, or rather my dog's birthday! (Heh, I whined!) It's a banner for Intense Veela Encounters and Catching Birds. And it features an almost naked guy (NWS!) with BEAUTIFUL wings! And it's OMGSOHOT! And all the little details there! There's rain and then that scene where Harry lies down on top of Draco, and Draco hugs him and pets him and calls him George, and makes the evil (but sexy) wings go bye-bye. *melts* ♥

2.) lokifan was TOO sweet and wrote me two (TWO!) drabbles, a fluffy Spike/Connor drabble and a sweet Harry/Draco drabble! *hugs*

3.) leochi whom I couldn't adore more if I tried, drew THIS for me! It's my slipper-thief-of-a-dog! Just awwwww. That third panel? That's sooo him. With that backward glance that says, "I have her slipper! I have her slipper! Is she looking? OMG! I'm too smart for my fur!"

4.) OHEMGEE! softly_sweetly is just ... ROWR! This, this, this! It's something that will make me very happy every time I enter my flat. Read about Faith (ME!) walking in on Harry and Draco shagging on her sofa! And ENVY ME HARD! *giggles*

5.) Also, because alaana_fair put my username above the conclusion (you're kidding about that, right? There's more?) to her spectacularly fluffy and adorable orphanage series, I'm claming that one as mine too! MUAHAHAHAHAH! *is grabby*

So. Squeeeee!

( Feeling better and almost playing foosball )

( Conclusive evidence that aliens want me to write Harry/Draco porn )

( IMPORTANT! Harry/Draco Cake with Strawberry Jam (recipe; rated PG-13) )

Also, if anyone has/knows of oneshoty porn or/and fluff — TELL ME, PLEASE!