FIC REC

I'm sure everyone and their mother already read this, but it can't hurt if I mention it again. This is by far the funniest story ever written and if you haven't read it, then run and do so now. (Heed the warning, however.)

Title: A Small Problem
Author: enchanted_jae
Pairing: H/D
Rating: NC17
Warning(s): Hell yes, there are warnings! Unfortunately, I really don't know how to put it into words...Er, don't read if you don't have an adventurous sort of humor. (Characters engaged in sexual activity are of age.)
Word count: 1225
Summary: A potion mishap won't prevent Harry from having sex with his boyfriend.

Also, after you read it, don't forget to check out yumekutteikt's awesome rendering of a scene from this fic.

ART RECS

alaana_fair made a convincing post yesterday, and I felt like I've just been chastised by my mother (I mean that lovingly, Alaana!) so I thought I should rec some of the gorgeous Harry/Draco art from the Art fest. I was going to list quite a few pieces, but then I realized that nobody ever clicks if you make a long list of things. So I just picked four that I loved extra hard and tried to articulate why I love them. (Naturally, I'm not reccing the ones that depicted scenes from my fics again, as I believe I'm VERY partial.)

• Shampoo and a kiss (PG): I confess I have a thing about hair-washing. It's just such an intimate thing to share, more intimate than one would think. And here I love Harry's hand placed gently on the back of Draco's head, the image additionally sweetened by Draco's hand mirroring the touch. And with Harry leaning forward, his eyes closed; and Draco leaning backwards, his eyes open; this seems like a lovely, subtle display of contrast between Harry and Draco. It's a joy to look at.
• Clover (R): First thing that came to my mind was: "Oh! Pretty!" The second thing that occurred to me was: Well, there's a lot of art like this: Harry and Draco sharing a peaceful moment, but what makes this so special? Looking at it, I think it's the incredible amount of detail in the background and especially the shadows of the leaves that give you that happy "I'm walking through the woods on a sunny day" feeling. I shudder to think how much time and effort went into this pic.
• November to February (R): Now, if this wasn't an anonymous fest and if I knew the artist, I'd say I'm impressed with her different-than-usual theme and colouring. Because the snark and humour are still there, but due to this author's amazing talent of drawing realistic expressions (and to an extent, due to the colouring) you can feel the depth of Harry's and Draco's emotions. Draco's snark and humour show his hurt and bitterness so clearly it's almost painful, and usually his lines would just make me laugh. I'm not quite sure how the artist managed to achieve this; I can just be impressed. But of course, I don't know who this is, so I can't actually say the above paragraph.
• Delicious (NC-17): The obvious reasons I like this pic aside ... I thought (long and hard) about why is this so beautiful in addition of being hot? To me, their bodies look appropriately raw because of the colour, and because of the shading, it looks as though all the muscles in their bodies had contracted. It makes them look like a statue; like they were frozen in this moment. But this, instead of making the picture static, makes the scene almost burst with power. This is how I would describe this picture: it captures a moment of raw passion and it makes you stare at it and wait for it to explode even though you know it won't.

QUESTION

Basically, it's a fic (or art) search. Ahem. Is there a cross-dressing, slash fic where a guy wears a pair of lacy knickers and a short skirt, and then he lowers the knickers (but doesn't take them off) and hitches up the skirt and then he tops?

COOKIE

If you read all this, you deserve a cookie.

I've written this back when I received that review for my veela!Draco fic. It sort of made me want to write an even crazier veela story, so I've done it. I haven't posted it because it's much too ridiculous and pointless, but I read it today and it made me chuckle. So I thought maybe it'll give you a laugh as well.

Warnings: No title, veela parody, surprise buttsex, dubious use of lube, utter crack, a block paragraph of doom, badfic.


Draco feared he wasn't explaining himself well.

"You see, Potter, it's not really a big deal," he claimed. "I mean this came as a shock to me as well. I just began glowing all of a sudden and then my mother said," Draco's voice turned shrill, "'Oh sweetie, I forgot to tell you — you're a veela. And Harry Potter is your mate. And you have to mate with him or die. Oh and I really did throw your stuffed hippogriff away when you were five.' I mean, that was a lot to take in. I'm still in shock." Draco paused as Potter pulled him inside his flat and shut the door behind him. Undeterred, Draco continued, "I mean, I loved that hippogriff. I can't believe she had done that. However, this mate thing really isn’t a problem, if you think about it," Draco argued as Potter pulled him towards the sofa. "I'm sure someone will find a cure or something. Probably Granger, just to annoy me. I mean, that would annoy me because I don't want Granger to outsmart me, not because I want us to be mates. Of course I don't. I'm certainly not asking you to be my mate." Draco took a deep breath to collect his thoughts. He was standing next to the sofa now and Potter had disappeared somewhere behind him. Draco did not dare to look at Potter's face; he was much too embarrassed. "See," Draco said, "this is just temporary. We don't have to mate. We could just ... cuddle? No, not cuddle. Maybe just touch randomly. I think that would be enough. It would keep me alive for the time being and ... Hmmm. It's really cold in here," Draco grumbled. He certainly felt odd suddenly. As though, as though ... as though he was naked? "Where are my pants?" Draco cried, distressed. He looked down to check and sure enough he was quite trouser-less and pants-less. He tried to turn around, but a hand pressed on the small of his back, and Draco was neatly bent over the back of the sofa with his arse in the air. Panicking, Draco protested, "Er ... Potter, I'm not sure what you're trying to do here." Potter kicked Draco's legs apart, confusing Draco further. "I realize you're upset and you probably don't want to ... Oh Merlin! I mean, ow! Bloody ow!" Draco yelped as something large and cock-like — possibly a cock — penetrated him.

"I'm sure you mean wow not ow," Potter breathed, and Draco vaguely realised that this was the first time Potter spoke since Draco had arrived. Not that that mattered. What mattered was that Draco was apparently being fucked.

"What are you doing?" Draco panted, squirming, though it was hard to squirm since the sofa was squishy and Draco was pressed down firmly, his toes barely touching the ground. The cock inside him didn't feel as uncomfortable as it should have been. Perhaps Potter used a Lubrification Charm. If such a thing existed.

"Mating," was Potter ready response.

The cock had retreated from Draco's arse only to be slammed back inside so hard Draco's feet temporarily lost contact with the floor. Which probably looked ridiculous.

"But, Potter, you don't have to ... Oh! That's good. Really good," Draco asserted when Potter began to pound earnestly, each thrust making Draco's body shake and rise from the floor. Draco lowered his hands and braced himself, trying to assimilate the fact that Potter was behind him, gripping his hips and shagging him thoroughly. This turn of events was a bit surprising.

"Surely we should — Oh! Wow! — angst for a while. A month — Oh! — at least!" Draco panted, trying to hump the squishy sofa beneath him. "You should think about this!" he insisted, his voice cracking. "And ... mmm ... your friends will mind and ... Oh fuck!" Draco stopped talking and instead groaned loudly. His vision blurred from excessive shaking and it didn't take long for him to come shuddering, his spunk coating the soft material of the sofa he was laid upon. Potter, however, was not yet finished. He held Draco's hips with bruising intensity and continued his frantic thrusting. Just as Draco thought his arse might burn up from this abuse, Potter gasped and came, crushing Draco's hips, his nails digging into the tender skin.

It took Potter a minute to pull out of Draco and step back. Draco remained where he was, swaying slightly and trying to regain his breath.

"That was ..." Draco breathed eventually, still feeling dazed. "The shortest fuck of my life," he decided.

Potter grunted, possibly offended. "Well, now that we're mates, we can shag as much as we want for as long as we want," he said happily as Draco straightened and turned around.

Draco tried to fix his hair and find his pants, but failed at both attempts, so instead, he studied Potter's pleased expression. For some reason, Potter's smug behaviour made him feel annoyed. "Aren't you a desperate little fucker, Potter? Just shagging random blokes that walk into your flat."

Potter scratched the back of his head, looking a little sheepish. "Actually, I paid your mother to tell you you're a veela."

"Oh." Draco thought about this long and hard. "Very well then." He inclined his head and turned to leave. "As you were."

"Wait!" Potter grabbed his hand and pulled him back, closer to his body. "You can't just leave! I am so very sorry, but I just wanted you, and I didn't know how —”

"Oh don't worry, Potter. I'll come back for another shag later," Draco soothed, giving Potter a quick peck on the lips.

"You will?" Potter looked like he might faint from relief, but then he frowned. "But where are you going then?"

Draco narrowed his eyes, feeling angry and vengeful. "I have to go and see Mother," he declared, turning around and furiously walking out of the flat. He had a score to settle with his mother. For her sake, he hoped she lied about the hippogriff too.

Much later, when Draco reflected on these events, he wished that before storming out, he remembered to ask Potter to give him back his clothes.

FIN