Okay, so I barely managed to reply to comments today and squint at my flist (seriously, can't surf for porn in my parents' house; I CAN do it tomorrow at work, however) but I did find the time to do something non-porn related.

To cleanse myself from the wank and my tl;dr thinky thoughts of doom (er, sorry about that, btw) and in order to spread some fandom love, I went and friended EVERYBODY on my "Friend of" list. I no longer have a "Friend of" list and I no longer will. I was wary of friending strangers thinking they could be some random crazy people (but then I realized I'm crazy, too) or bots, but as Cheryl says, bots need porn, too.

I was shocked to discover that I failed to friend some people who I actually know. *facepalm* (Sorry, guys!) That will never happen again because from now on I friend back automatically.

Lurkers, welcome. I still won't comment on your personal posts if you haven't said hi because I'll assume that you don't really want to talk to me (but if something godforbid bad happens to you, I'll give you a squishy hug, and you'll just have to deal with that. I promise I don't smell bad.) Okay, right now I smell like wet dog, but, um, these are special circumstances.

As you were.

Oh, you know, y'all could spread some fandom cheer today and make a new friend. *nods* You know that person who left you three comments and friended you last month? And you didn't friend back because you're wary of strangers? Friend her/him. I'm sure s/he's lovable. And it's always nice to see a "X added you as a friend," message. Make someone happy! Or friend a bot!

Have to go now. Someone's barking. It's either Max or Mom.

1. Do check out this Harry/Draco fanpoem by kaxenji. It's seriously awesome and clever. It has a PLOT.

2. Also check out this Harry/Draco drabble by joan_waterhouse. It's completely adorable. ♥

3. Happy Birthday okydoky! I don't know if you like them blond or dark-haired, so take your pick. *squishes*


4. Happy Slightly Bleated Birthday, envious_ema! (So sorry I'm late, love! ♥) You get Jared and Jensen, obviously.


5. Happy Early Birthday, softly_sweetly! I have some bondage pics for you, love. :D ♥


6. Also, I wrote fic! Yay! It's 3K so I get to call it a fic. :D It was inspired by the pic below (found by nuclearsugars! So thank you.) For a minute I thought I'll be able to post it today because I sent it to Cheryl and she sent it right back fully betaed (I suspect witchcraft). ♥ But my sister and, more importantly, her kids are coming over so no more porn posting today. :(

ME

Still happy, but not really fandom-y productive. I mean, I'm not working YET, as I said, next month, BUT I'm just so HYPER. Maybe people who had spend a couple of months at home doing absolutely nothing can understand, but I feel like someone gave me wings. I was beginning to feel useless and unsociable. Um. Well. I WAS useless and unsociable. And normally, I REALLY like being around people. (As long as they leave me alone when I want them to leave me alone.) This "staying at home" experience has been really hard and depressing. So for the most part, these days, I'm SOCIALIZING and unfortunately I'm not around here much.

I'll write something soon, I'm sure.

Smutastic Awards


Dreamwidth

First, a big thank you to weasleywench for the virtual bundle of gifts! *squishes tight* ♥ And a big thank you to my dear kaykayen for the adorable love letter. *glomps* ♥

And second, the WIP meme! What? I do HAVE a WiP and I can HAS MEME! OKAY!?

Post a single sentence from each WIP you have (or as many as you want to pick). No context, no explanations. No more than one sentence.

1. "Excellent." Potter grinned, his lips still a little wet and shiny, catching the light of the candles. "Well then, your place or mine?"

*\o/* Okay, that's three sentences, but ignore that.

Chapter ten will be posted tomorrow. I think.

SPAM WARNING

TO DO LIST

Speaking of schedules I'm not keeping . . . I will write these fics. I will. But people whose birthdays are coming up? So sorry. I just HAVE to finish these first.

SQUEE!

Okay, I'll be creepy now, but I must build a shrine to Cheryl Dyson. I must and I will. Hell! I have time. Also, I must find zebrui and either strangle her or kiss her silly. See, I don't read WiPs. I don't. It's a rule! My rule! But nooooo, zebrui had to be all, "Oh you know Cheryl's newest fic? It's one of her best! *dreamy eyes* So awesome!" I lasted two days, but then Cheryl's glove!fic (ALSO a WiP, damnit, Dyson!) broke my resolve. So a WiP rec:

Title: Paradigm
Rating: Dyson (I hope this means someone will end up wearing a collar and a leash)
Summary: In my quest to write every single cliche in fandom, I unveil RENTBOY DRACO! Done my way. *grin*

Done my way.

That's the best way. :D

Oh do read this (if you're not already reading). It's awesomesauce. And yes, a WiP, but one of those WiPs where you're glad you can catch a breath after each chapter. Also, if you don't like rentboy fics, you'll like this even more. Harry is amazing, and Draco is ridiculously cute. And the sex! MY GOD! THE SEX! Teaser:

Should he live to be two hundred, he would never lose the image of Harry Potter hovering over him like a dark angel, black hair tipped in a halo from the dim lighting, glistening with sweat and gazing down at him with an expression Draco had never seen on anyone’s face before. If he had been a bigger fool, he would have sworn it was adoration.

IT IS ADORATION, DRACO! OKAY?

*dies of fangirl-y glee*

Oh and before I melt completely, just one more rec, art this time:

Title: Liar
Artist: reira_21
Characters: Draco/Harry
Rating: G

This is gorgeous and so incredibly sweet!


A huge thank you to everyone who pimped A Guide to Fanfiction! ♥

ETA: Oh fuck this no WiP business. bryoneybrynn just posted the first chapter of her newest H/D fic and I adore it already.

Title: Buyer Beware
Summary: Eighth year has begun and all our favourite people are back at Hogwarts. A "servent auction" is being held to raise money for children orphaned by the war. Harry Potter is up on the block. Who do you think will bid on him?

As Draco says: It was going to be fucking brilliant.

I spent my morning happily reading fics. (Yay!) So this is just a post to rec a bunch that made me REALLY happy. Er . . . the fact that they all happen to be high rated is a coincidence.

I realize that most of you probably read all of them, as these fics are old, but they're new to me and they deserve pimping. I've skipped a bunch of WiPs but will get back to them, and I've looked around hd_holidays and I'm afraid I'll have to skip many fics as I can't really read angst and then there's always my "The Weasleys' and Hermione's characterizations sensitivity" that made me skip a lot of fic (usually the long ones) since I don't like their characterizations (I don't mean outright bashing; no to that goes without saying). Sorry about that; sometimes just tiny little things bug me. I'm sure you all know how that is.

So.

( Recs here! )

Also, there's a new community made and moderated by some awesome folks: harry_scorpius is a comm for . . . wait for it . . . Harry/Scorpius shippers. So if you like that ship, go and watch. (Hmm, that sounds pervy.)

And.

CULPRIT WANTED: Um, someone sent me an LJ Gift Certificate. Who? Why? Let me kiss you?

And.

I has a plot? *flexes fingers* Well, no, it's not a plot it's . . . silliness. But you knew that.

First, I had a job interview today (this job is not gonna happen, but I didn't actually expect to find a new job a mere week after I lost the old one, so all's well). But I was very busy freaking out. (Damn it, are all job interviews this stressful!?) So in the future, if I disappear for two or three days — I'm at home, freaking out.

Thanks

A huge thank you to everyone how wished me a happy birthday (and to everyone who said lovely words to me about my job loss). And thank you to all that posted birthday greetings or sent me a message. They all meant a lot.

Thank you to heathen_ursidae for drawing me an awesome Harry/Draco pic. And leochi for drawing me a gorgeous Harry. And thank you lotus_lizzy for writing me a sexy fic: Knicker Thief.

And thank you to everyone that promised to write me something. Take your time. *takes a moment to reflect on all the fics she owes* In fact, do be late; it'll make me feel better. (LOL!)

And thank you bryoneybrynn for LJ Paid Time. And thank you romaine24, zebrui, kisa829, kcstories, cleo_jay, lotus_lizzy, byaghro, tmkline, nightlo and kaykayen for sending me VGifts. They're so pretty!

And WANTED! Um, guys, who sent me two more months of LJ paid time and an LJ gift certificate? Please to be telling me. I need to squish you!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

To me, it looked like I was gone for months, so I thought that maybe you've forgotten me. *blush* Nice to see that's not true.

Question and a Poll

Please read, dear flisters. I need your advice.

( About my metessay, HTML coding and posting ... )

Oh and PIMP!

Love this idea: A poll for all HP fanfic writers: New HP writers' community. Do check it out.

So. Um. Job went bye-bye. This Monday.

So I was very busy this week. Emoness and wall-staring take time and care. Somehow, I managed to convince myself that I won't get laid off. I thought I should be optimistic; however, that worked just a little too well. So the layoff was a shock. I was so depressed these days, I took out my old Evanescence albums. Enough said.

I acquired a router the other day, but wasn't in the mood for internet (or any other kind of) entertainment.

But I actually logged in and checked my flist and inbox today, only to see messages and birthday posts, virtual gifts, art, fic and even an LJ Gift Certificate and LJ paid time (!!!!) so now I'm grinning like a lunatic for the first time this month. (Well, this year, technically.)

I didn't plan to be online for a bit longer, but you have lured me out of my emo hole.

So, I'm back. Though, officially, I'm back tomorrow, because now I'm going out with some friends to have a little birthday fun. (And to not spend money because: no job + birthday = Faith gets everything for free. Hey, I'm an optimist. Glass half-full and all that.)

So this is a quick note to tell you all that I adore you. And I missed you like crazy and you're AWESOME. And I will reply to every message, to those wonderful comments you left on my last post, and to gifts and posts with a goofy smile on my face.

Also, I'll make a proper thank-you post tomorrow. That post will probably contain a lot of little hearts and exclamation points. So I apologize in advance.

And I'll make another post on Sunday. I think, on Sunday. Er ... see, I was bored, but was too nervous to write or read. However, I had to do something that is not even remotely connected to my now-ex-job. So I've written an ... essay? Meta? A meta-essay? Metessay? Yes, a metessay.

And the long metessay is long. It now stands at 13 000 words. No, really. And it's pretentiously called: A Beginner's Guide to Fanfiction. I've been writing it ever since this post was made on harrydraco. I thought about that post, and then thought some more. And now I have a metessay. It's a compilation of links and thoughts on SPaG, writing, style, text editors, coding, LJ fic posting, helpful writing communities, real essays written by smarter people and so on and on and on ... It's meant to encourage and inspire fandom newcomers to write and post. But I think there are some useful links there for people who merely want to reflect on their writing.

So beware. A metessay is coming.

I have to go and get ready now. I just posted to tell you (because it was urgent) that I love you.

... and now I'll have Stevie Wonder's I Just Called to Say I Love You stuck in my mind for the rest of the day.

And for the record: I'm fine. A little lost and a little sad, but fine. Hey, I'm young and, if I dare say so (and obviously I dare), not stupid. So screw you, former job!

I hope you are all well (and employed). *hugs*

First, I haven't been online much for the last few days. Ridiculously, not because I was busy -- what with Christmas time and all (there were a couple of family moments, but mostly I was home, celebrating the return of my appetite and ability to drink alcohol. And also, forcing a friend to watch Merlin with me. Heh. That was fun.) but because there was something terribly wrong with my internet connection. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. I tried using dial-up but that thing almost gave me a heart attack.

Second, please forgive a poor girl for her cheap, eCard ways. Since real cards aren't an option (because I'm paranoid by nature, not because I think you're all a bunch of maniacs and after you learn my address will swim across oceans in order to rob and murder me) I wanted to send y'all VGifts. Cos VGifts are a bit cooler than eCards. But unfortunately, I mean, fortunately, there are so many people who were so nice to me this year, I'd have to spend more than I have. Or go through my flist and be all, "Okay, this one deserves a paid present, and this one doesn't." But forcing myself to think like that would just make me sad. Maybe next year, my financial situation improves or you'll stop being nice to me. (I hope it won't be the latter.) O.O

Third, thank you to all that wished me happy holidays through a message, an eCard or an email. Thank you, leochi for drawing me a lovely pic and lijahlover for writing me a ficlet. And thank you, dirty_darella for your beautiful H/D card. Also, thank you, marguerite_26 for the fluffy polar bear, nightlo for a cookie, and scrtkpr for some hot chocolate. ♥ And thank you, taradiane for yet more hot chocolate!

And lastly, I saw Twilight yesterday. It's okay, I got drunk first. Which might explain why I left the movies with a crush on Charlie Swan and an urge to ship Charlie/Carlisle. :/

I hope you all had lovely holidays. In this LJ I'm apparently still waiting for Christmas, as I'm still writing advent drabbles. *facepalm*

I love Christmas. I should've pimped this sooner, but obviously, I don't know where my head is these days. So this is what I got:

Mistletoe Misdirection (PG-13) a cute little ficlet by softly_sweetly.

My True Love Gave To Me (PG-13) an adorably fluffy little ficlet by enchanted_jae.

Advent Angel a cute little pic drawn by the lovely leochi.

A then there's this pic of Santa Draco for my story Draco Christmas (PG-13) drawn by the ever awesome yumekutteikt.

Also, OH MY GOD, you have to read this. maja_li wrote me a, wait for it, Harry Potter/Twilight crossover, containing Draco/Edward/Harry threesome!(!!!!!!!!!) GOOD GAWD, that was hot! Club Nights (NC-17). ♥

Also-also, this isn't for me, but it made me happy nonetheless:

dysonrules is posting Christmas drabbles made of awesomesauce.

Aaaaaaaaaand now! *drumroll* OMG! Okay, in case you didn't know, and I'm sure you did, bryoneybrynn IS made of rainbows and awesome and win! And cookies! And shiny, sparkly stuff!

Because what did I find in my inbox today? A pic for my story Dear Santa drawn by dirty_darella (OMG, sweetie, I love you too so much!) as requested by the one and only Bryoney!


♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

WOW.

( Click for Bound!Harry with jam smeared on all the correct places! (NC-17) Duh!) )

Squeee! Thank you so much, Bryoney! I adore you! ♥

Oh and random: I had the strangest dream tonight. Joker (Jack Nicholson) was chasing me around trying to kill me. And I tried to defend myself with a gun, but the gun was jammed. By a piece of paper, like a freaking printer. But then I managed to defeat him, by asking Joss Whedon, who was shooting Dollhouse nearby, to make a video of him. This distressed Joker into oblivion for some reason. Gosh, that dream was SCARY!

I know I owe birthday fics and all, but the truth is I probably won't manage to write as much during the holidays. So everything will be late anyway. I can write really short (exactly or around 100 words) drabbles though. So I'm stealing Jae's idea.

The first 24 people to comment with a pairing and a drabble-friendly prompt get an Advent drabble.

Any Harry Potter pairing is acceptable (and if you know my fandoms you can ask anything from those). I encourage you to ask for a non-H/D pairing (not that I'll mind if you ask for H/D). Just so you know you really can ask for something else.

ETA: DONE! Sorry and thank you!

( The prompt table is under cut. Check to see if everything is correct. Change your mind now or never. )

Um. Sorry. It'll be late obviously. I've slacked at the beginning of the week, which means I had to actually do some work towards the end of it. :( Plus, the virgin!sex is a bit complicated. So many words. Man! It took Draco 3000 words of babbling to take his clothes off. *shakes head* And Harry had to use tricks!

I'm just taking a little break. From work and writing.

Oh! I wanted to say, thank you, cleo_jay, for your VGift! *snuggles silly* She has wisely concluded that since I already have a pair of handcuffs I definitely need a whip. *looks at her profile page a bit fearfully* I must use them somewhere. Er ... that wasn't TMI. They are virtual gifts so I'd use them virtually. Though whips make me think OW! But Harry could totally carry one around, but not use it. Just because it'll be hot.

Which reminds me. You know how aliens want me to write porn? I have more proof. They're giving me these little clues, you see.

( Observe. )

First, as you know, LJ is going bye-bye in three ... two ... one ... So smoke 'em if you got 'em. I've backed-up my journal, and crossposted every single post to IJ. So see you there if something goes wrong. I'm faithwood there too. I may go and search and friend you guys.

Second, yumekutteikt, who is awesome, drew this pic based on Halloween Quickie Series' "Backfired". It's funny.

Coincidently, I've named the last series The Pervert Series. :D

And third, thank you again, alaana_fair, for your V-Gift (my first ever! *is super excited*)!

So as thanks ... A drabble-y-thingy. (This probably won't amuse you if you're not Alaana, or if you don't follow her journal.)

( Alaana is so sweet that if she owned Harry and Draco, this is what she'd do. )

I'm KIDDING! Relax.

LOL! Ahem. So I skimmed through my flist today. No, not flist, I've read my flist. I've skimmed that 'Manage friends' thingy. Cos I've been friending back sort of erratically lately. And I'm home this week, apparently. I'm a bit ... indisposed. Yeah. So. Anyway, I made this huge flist cut and chucked half of you from my flist!

I'm KIDDING!

I just friended back a bunch of people whose names I recognize (even vaguely) — THOUGH YOU DID NOT TALK TO ME, YOU MEANIES! — and can be sure that they're not mad Russian bots that HACK PEOPLE! OMG! (Fan service comment: If you don't know, there's this LJ-sec thingy used for easy crossposting/maintaining secondary journals and LJ-archive thingy that saves your posts AND comments. So you can be prepared.) *whimpers*

So I'm just telling you 'bout the friending, so you know what's the what.

Okay, so, I am ever so slightly drunk, but rational enough to click and type. Kinda. I SWEAR, MajaLi, I've beta-ed your fic before I got drunk. *nods*

Also, this drabble by enchanted_jae is the cutest thing that ever cuted in Cuteville.

First.

Aaaarrrrggggghhhh! FLIST, Y U SO BIG?

I'm not really complaining. I just realized I've missed a TON of PORN and ART because ... I DON'T KNOW! I'm blind? Merely an idiot? I'll totally catch up over the weekend. Of course, everyone is at Terminus *is jealous* so I'm not expecting an influx of new posts.

Well, the good news is (for me) I'll be less busy in the upcoming weeks because RL promised to back off and well *cough* I've dropped out of hd_inspired. :( I HAD TO! It was driving me insane! I'm saying a big NO to fests! God, the pressure! I cannot take it. *crumbles dramatically*

And the bad news is ... Um. Actually, I don't have bad news. All is well.

Right. My reason for posting is:

CLAIM YOUR PRESENTS HERE! ( August and September birthdays! )

Also, have a laugh. This is a truly hilarious video (to me) that makes fun of Batman's growly voice.

( Slight TDK spoilers. )

Also Batman related and damn funny: Check out this animation!

ALSO-ALSO! IMPORTANT! OMG! Does anyone have some Jack/Ianto recs? You know me, short and porny stuff, I seek. Please! It's an emergency! I know that there are Torchwood fans on my flist. Show yourselves!

Sorry, I'm a little excited! Because now, I'm going out to get drunk, I hope! Wheeee! I haven't in WEEKS! Hope that I won't spam you with some crazy posts later!

BTW, I love you guys! *squishes* (No, I'm not drunk yet, just randomly happy and squishy!)

Have a great weekend everyone!

♥!

The lovely people who saved you from excessive spamming

1.) The wonderful talented winter_june made this for me. For my unbirthday, or rather my dog's birthday! (Heh, I whined!) It's a banner for Intense Veela Encounters and Catching Birds. And it features an almost naked guy (NWS!) with BEAUTIFUL wings! And it's OMGSOHOT! And all the little details there! There's rain and then that scene where Harry lies down on top of Draco, and Draco hugs him and pets him and calls him George, and makes the evil (but sexy) wings go bye-bye. *melts* ♥

2.) lokifan was TOO sweet and wrote me two (TWO!) drabbles, a fluffy Spike/Connor drabble and a sweet Harry/Draco drabble! *hugs*

3.) leochi whom I couldn't adore more if I tried, drew THIS for me! It's my slipper-thief-of-a-dog! Just awwwww. That third panel? That's sooo him. With that backward glance that says, "I have her slipper! I have her slipper! Is she looking? OMG! I'm too smart for my fur!"

4.) OHEMGEE! softly_sweetly is just ... ROWR! This, this, this! It's something that will make me very happy every time I enter my flat. Read about Faith (ME!) walking in on Harry and Draco shagging on her sofa! And ENVY ME HARD! *giggles*

5.) Also, because alaana_fair put my username above the conclusion (you're kidding about that, right? There's more?) to her spectacularly fluffy and adorable orphanage series, I'm claming that one as mine too! MUAHAHAHAHAH! *is grabby*

So. Squeeeee!

( Feeling better and almost playing foosball )

( Conclusive evidence that aliens want me to write Harry/Draco porn )

( IMPORTANT! Harry/Draco Cake with Strawberry Jam (recipe; rated PG-13) )

Also, if anyone has/knows of oneshoty porn or/and fluff — TELL ME, PLEASE!