20 October 2008 @ 07:34 pm
FIC: Trick-or-treating (H/D; PG-13; 1000)  
Fandom: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement intended.
Title: Trick-or-treating
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1000
Genre: Humour, Fluff
Status: Complete
Summary: Draco goes trick-or-treating. Sort of.
Warnings: So silly. I went CRAZY with prompts. Crazy. 13 prompts used. *facepalm*
Note: Written for the following prompts:

[livejournal.com profile] enchanted_jae's monthly drabble challenge: It was a dark and stormy night...
[livejournal.com profile] awdt's prompts:
  • "You promised me breakfast."
  • The games people play
  • "But it didn't have anything to do with sexy."
  • "It's not enough."
  • "Well, that's not working, is it?"
  • use words: bulbous, water, banana, heaven, and donkey.
  • "They say it tastes like chicken."

[livejournal.com profile] hd_fluff's prompt: Jack-o-lantern (picture)
[livejournal.com profile] harrylovesdraco's challenge: "Halloween or Samhain"
[livejournal.com profile] hd_pots_n_porn's prompts:
  • pumpkin
  • apples
  • cherries


I must crosspost to all these comms. So sorry. I'll do it in batches.



Trick-or-treating



It was a dark and stormy night, but the club was nevertheless as crowded as usual. Perhaps even more than usual with people feeling extra festive on Halloween. All around the room Jack-o-lanterns cast flickering lights and odd shadows over the people swaying on the dance floor, but Draco could still clearly see Potter from where he was sitting together with Pansy.

"That should be illegal," Draco said decisively, watching Harry Potter making a spectacle of himself. "He's practically having sex right there in public. Someone should stop him."

"Well no one stopped him when he did a Donkey Show."

Draco choked on his Firewhiskey before his brain started to function again and he realized that Pansy must have been joking. He resolved to drink water from now on. Alcohol made his brain all fuzzy. Undoubtedly, alcohol was the reason Draco had spent the last half an hour staring fixatedly at Potter.

"Oh the games people play," Pansy mused, sipping her drink.

"What do you mean by that?" Draco asked, not taking his gaze away from Potter's sexy performance. No, not sexy. It was scandalous and outrageous, but it didn't have anything to do with sexy. This was yet again the result of Draco's inebriated state.

"Well, he's clearly trying to make you jealous," Pansy declared matter-of-factly.

"Of cherries?" Draco breathed, watching Potter pick up another cherry. He licked it slowly before popping it into his mouth with an expression that suggested he might have experienced a spontaneous orgasm. Draco's breath hitched a little. "Well, that's not working, is it?" He nodded firmly.

"But it worked yesterday when he was eating a banana."

"Oh! The banana!" Draco gasped, fondly remembering yesterday.

"Just go to him!" Pansy snapped. "He clearly wants it. Think of the poor food. Mark my words, he'll abuse pumpkins next. Or, heaven forbid, he'll start bobbing for apples with those crazy muggle-loving twits."

"He'd get wet then," Draco pondered, but then frowned, not sure how one could abuse a pumpkin. Though the thought gave him odd ideas. He shook his head to clear it. "Why exactly are you convinced that Potter abusing fruits means he wants me?"

"It's not because of the fruit, you daft man. It's because he keeps fluttering his eyelashes at you and making come-here gestures with his finger."

Draco narrowed his eyes, not sure if he should believe that; after all, Draco usually looked at Potter's mouth and his tongue, not his fingers and eyelashes. Which was a shame, Draco thought now that he had looked. Potter had nice fingers and nice eyelashes.

Draco sighed, declaring himself pathetic. Logic told him that he couldn't actually see Potter's eyelashes from here, so clearly he was going crazy and should stop watching Potter make love to cherries. However, in that moment, a tall, dark-haired man with very tight clothes, a wide grin, and a bulbous nose approached Potter's table. Draco shot up immediately, but remained standing rooted to the spot, flustered because he didn't actually have a plan of action. But that man had to be stopped. That much was clear.

"That's the spirit!" Pansy praised, rudely shoving Draco forward, and his disobedient feet followed Pansy's instructions. Draco passed the dancing crowd, pushing people out of his way, and he reached Potter's table just as the stupid man sat down and leaned closer to Potter, whispering something in his ear. Something that clearly surprised Potter greatly because his eyebrows rose high, almost disappearing behind the messy mop of hair that fell forward onto his forehead.

"Really?" Potter wondered, his expression betraying nothing but polite puzzlement.

"Oh yes. And they say it tastes like chicken," the man said earnestly.

"Mmmm." Potter nodded, pursing his lips. "Fascinating."

Draco felt a little nauseous, not knowing what the hell they were discussing, but unfortunately Potter didn't seem opposed to the man's advances. On the contrary, when the man leaned even closer, caressing Potter's thigh, Potter failed to do the obvious and bat the hand away.

"So what do you say?" the man whispered suggestively.

"Well, that certainly sounds ... odd." Potter scrunched up his nose, but then he looked up suddenly, and for a second, his eyes met Draco's. Directing his gaze back at the man, Potter fluttered his eyelashes — and this time Draco really could see it — and smiled widely. "But you promised me breakfast. So that's something," Potter acknowledged.

The man smiled back, rather excitedlty, and then promptly got up, pulling Potter by his hand. "Well then ..." He looked around as though searching for the quickest way to the exit; but instead, he spotted Draco standing beside them. "What do you want?" he asked sharply.

Draco swallowed, barely preventing himself from saying, 'Potter, you idiot.' That was the blatant truth, but he couldn't know how Potter would react to such a proclamation. Therefore, he tried desperately to think of something less crude. But what could he possibly say or do to make Potter go home with him?

Potter stood up, looking at Draco inquisitively, his lips still red from cherries he had previously devoured so spectacularly.

Knowing he would have to either explain or excuse himself, Draco cleared his throat and opened his mouth. Well, it was Halloween, he reminded himself before he spoke, delivering his strangest ever pick up line.

"Trick or treat?" Draco asked.

Potter blinked, and the man next to him gave Draco an incredulous look, groaning, "Are you for real?"

Ignoring the man, Draco stared at Potter through his lashes, putting on his best, seductive smile. "How about ... I show you a trick and then you give me a treat," Draco said sweetly.

The man spluttered, but Potter's surprised expression dissolved into one of interest. He bit his plump bottom lip, his gaze travelling along Draco's body, as though assessing possibilities.

"Preferably, a treat that doesn't taste like chicken," Draco added.

Potter laughed, freeing his hand from the man's grip. "Now that's an interesting offer," he declared. "And it just so happens —" Potter lowered his voice, "I have plenty of treats."

Draco shuddered as the loser beside them whined. "But — but you said that the breakfast offer was something," he said, almost sniffing.

"It's something," Potter agreed, not looking at him. "But it's not enough." He stepped closer and pressed his body to Draco's, his arms encircling Draco's neck. "I want to see that trick," Potter whispered hotly against Draco's lips.

Breathing in a gulp of much needed air, Draco leaned in for a tiny taste of sweet cherries and Potter's lips. "I can make this whole place disappear in a second," Draco bragged, wrapping his hands around his prize. "Watch," he instructed, and then Apparated them both away, directly into his bedroom.

And there, appropriately impressed with Draco's trick and true to his word, Potter really did give him a treat.



Fin



Donkey show: If you don't know what this means, consider yourself lucky. It probably means what you think it means, though.

 
 
Current Mood: silly
 
 
Page 1 of 3
<<[1] [2] [3] >>
( Post a new comment )
[identity profile] aki-hoshi.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC)
w00t!!!! OMG - that was SO FREAKING COOL!!!

I must say, just for a second, I thought you meant, at the beginning, that Potter was sitting with Pansy, and then you mentioned the sexual displays, and I was like, "wait, what? with Pansy???" And then I re-read it, and saw the cherries, and started bleeding from my nose. :D

Oh, that was PERFECT. I wanna use that line and have it work.

OMG - and Harry, just because he offers you breakfast foods (as yummy as they are), you DO NOT go home with a BULBOUS-NOSED WANKER.

So there.

♥!
[identity profile] paigeey07.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 04:15 am (UTC)
i loved it throughly!
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:31 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:31 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] cassie-black12.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 05:48 pm (UTC)
I'm not entirely sure that I want to know what tastes like chicken (other than chicken itself!) but that was a very cute, fluffy story and I loved it!
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Glad you liked it! ♥

I don't want to know what the man offered to Harry either! :D
(no subject) - [identity profile] nocturnali.livejournal.com on October 24th, 2008 12:40 am (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] andrea--88.livejournal.com on October 24th, 2008 05:09 am (UTC)
[identity profile] dysonrules.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 05:56 pm (UTC)
Best Halloween fic EVAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL! Adorable! *hearts you a billionty*

faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love! ♥

You've been quiet lately. *pouts*

Post a fic now! *is irrational*
(no subject) - [identity profile] dysonrules.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 09:09 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] aldehyde.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 06:03 pm (UTC)
BEST KIND OF TRICK OR TREATING EVER!!!!!

"Oh! The banana!" Draco gasped, fondly remembering yesterday.

haha so so good. mmm the idea of harry doing that, guh..
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you, love! ♥

*nods* I want to see Harry's banana show! :D
[identity profile] h-hufflepuff.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 06:05 pm (UTC)
It's not at all silly but rather made of win! (or, if it is silly, it's the very best kind of silly)
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:34 pm (UTC)
*squish* Thank you so much! ♥
[identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 06:10 pm (UTC)
Here ... you may borrow my crown.

Um ... I haven't read it yet (will do so later), but I wanted to ask, "Wha? PG-13? What is going on?"

:P
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:38 pm (UTC)
I was gonna steal your crown-icon and then post this entry with it. And then I'd be all, MUAHAHAHA! But it seemed like too much work. :D

Imagine I've done that. It was FUNNY!

I thought it would be better if I stick to low rating. Because with bananas and donkeys I didn't trust myself to write a sex scene. o.O
[identity profile] kaykayen.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 06:40 pm (UTC)
Draco is adorkable! And Harry's reaction when he spots Draco is awesome. So, just who's the Slytherin here?

"Oh! The banana!" Draco gasped, fondly remembering yesterday. Hee! I get the feeling that Potter's treat may be related to that banana eating incident!

13 prompts? You are incredible!
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love! ♥

OMG! Maybe Harry ate Draco's banana! :D

*squish*
[identity profile] ura-hd.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 07:10 pm (UTC)
cute
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you! ♥
[identity profile] ladydeth12.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 07:15 pm (UTC)
What a great piece! And all those prompts - amazing! How could Harry even think about going home with that bulbous-nosed loser!
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! ♥

Let's hope Harry had a backup plan and he wouldn't really go with him. *nods*
[identity profile] utteramusement.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 07:18 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! I actually thought you were going to mention pumpkin sex again for a sec!! xD

13 prompts in 1k? How!? And it's coherent too! Not only coherent, but freaking awesome! Do I want to know what tastes like chicken? "How about ... I show you a trick and then you give me a treat," that's the best pickup line ever, it should be used forever and ever now and this is made of awesome!

Also, as always Pansy is love! Here, have some little hearts! ♥♥♥
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:43 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Pumpkin sex! Are you traumatized? :D

Heh. I want to try and use that line in RL. *ponders*

Hearts! Thank you, love! ♥ ♥ ♥
[identity profile] kicksav29.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)
Haha I love!
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you liked it! ♥
[identity profile] kluminia.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 07:24 pm (UTC)
oohhhhh...*clapping, clapping clapping*....loved it, loved it, loved it! Smiling....it does a body good and you just gave me some much
needed therapy!!

faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Glad you liked it! ♥
[identity profile] ticklemecheeky.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 07:28 pm (UTC)
Hehehe! How clever, and how cute! :) Not to mention, I'm super-impressed with all those prompts you've used!
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:44 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Glad you liked it! ♥

YAY! Appropriate icon!
[identity profile] alaana-fair.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 07:35 pm (UTC)
*g* Uhm... and when will we get part two? :-)

You really should post a link over at [livejournal.com profile] hd_atdaclub, because, well you know, you don't have enough comms included here. *snickers*
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:46 pm (UTC)
FUNNY!

No part two for you!

LOL! You just want smex. Well I'm not ALL about porn. *sniff*
(no subject) - [identity profile] alaana-fair.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 01:24 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 01:26 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] alaana-fair.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 01:40 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 01:42 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] alaana-fair.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 09:37 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:06 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] alaana-fair.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] thisgirl-is.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 09:30 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] alaana-fair.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] thisgirl-is.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 09:50 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 09:57 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] thisgirl-is.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:02 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:07 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] thisgirl-is.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:15 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:20 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] thisgirl-is.livejournal.com on October 22nd, 2008 07:03 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] alaana-fair.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:22 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:26 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] alaana-fair.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:33 pm (UTC)
Pssst - [identity profile] thisgirl-is.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:17 pm (UTC)
Re: Pssst - [identity profile] alaana-fair.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 10:23 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] awayfromlife.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
I meant to leave a neat comment... but I just Googled donkey show. All I can say is 'WTF?!' And why is it on Wikipedia, anyway? Plus, at first, I accidentally searched 'donkey trick', which was another WTF moment for me. I think I need to lie down.

But your story is awesome. Though I have to wonder: would Harry have been as stupid as to go home with the bulbous-nosed man (just to make Draco jealous!), if our favourite ferret didn't stop him? For shame. That pick-up line, however... That was sooo cute. Draco is a dork, no matter how much he wants to hide it. And, of course, Pansy is made of WIN.

Bravo for including 13 prompts. That IS crazy.:D
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:48 pm (UTC)
Why did ya Google? LOL! *hugs*

Well, I hope Harry, unlike Draco, had a plan of action. But I don't know. Maybe he really likes chicken. :D

Thank you so much, love! Glad you liked it! ♥
[identity profile] winter-june.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 08:26 pm (UTC)
This is totally brilliant and hysterical!!

I'm not sure I want to know about the chicken and the donkey parts, but the banana and the treat, oh, those I'd really love to know more about :D
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love! Glad you liked it! ♥

I'd like to know more about the banana too. *nods*
[identity profile] heathen-arcade.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 08:36 pm (UTC)
AHHHH!!! Yay! That was fun fun fun! I love your Draco, especially when he's beside himself with desire. :D

You evil person. You alluded to pumpkin-sex.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:50 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! I can't help it. The minute I see the word pumpkin the awful memories come back. :D

Thank you so much, love! Glad you liked it! ♥
[identity profile] lilith1631.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 08:36 pm (UTC)
WHY ISN'T THIS NC17?!?!?!?!?! I HATE YOU!!! *Stomps feet like a bratty little first year* Gimme the rest of the scene, now. Don't cut me off, I can't go cold-turkey! Damn you!!!!

*Cries*

Lilith the Pathetic Junkie
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:51 pm (UTC)
*cuts you off*

Hahahaha!

Do you really wanna a NC-17 rated fic with donkeys and bananas? :D
[identity profile] lotus-lizzy.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 08:50 pm (UTC)
That was an impressive display of prompt usage! Loved it!

*and sadly I know what a Donkey show is*
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:52 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love! Glad you liked it! ♥

It's one of those thing you wanna un-known. :(
(no subject) - [identity profile] lotus-lizzy.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] thrnbrooke.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 09:06 pm (UTC)
Oh I sooo soo love this! You had me rolling. Almost felt sorry for that other man! He never stood a chance!
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love! Glad you liked it! ♥

I'm sure he'll find someone else who likes chicken. :D
[identity profile] agr8fae.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 09:27 pm (UTC)
You are amazing! This fic (and all the prompts) kind of reminds me of when I would try to use all of my spelling words in one sentence back in 2nd grade. Only, yours is better because it acutallt makes sense! Hilarious, darling.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:53 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love! Glad you liked it! ♥

And I'm glad it made sense!

*squish*
Joan Waterhouse[identity profile] joan-waterhouse.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 09:56 pm (UTC)
"Trick or treat?" Draco asked.
Potter blinked, and the man next to him gave Draco an incredulous look, groaning, "Are you for real?"


hilarious! :D
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you, love! ♥
[identity profile] camillily.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 10:06 pm (UTC)
Aww this was fabulous. I loved Draco's pick up line<3
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Glad you liked it! ♥
[identity profile] pepper202.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 10:07 pm (UTC)
That was really cute and funny.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:54 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love! Glad you liked it! ♥
[identity profile] zebrui.livejournal.com on October 20th, 2008 10:30 pm (UTC)
Oh, bless you - that was all kinds of adorable and funny and clever!

Donkey Show... I've lead a sheltered life apparently o_O
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on October 21st, 2008 12:55 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love! Glad you liked it! ♥

Oh no! You googled. Why did you google?