Happy Belated Birthday, leochi!

 

Fandom: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement intended.
Title: Monster Attack
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1000
Genre: Humour, Fluff
Status: Complete
Summary: Draco has been attacked by vicious monsters and Harry must comfort him.
Warnings: Hair fetish. Anyone who had ever seen leochi's digital art must have a hair fetish. And Harry has one canonically. *nods*
Note: leochi, sorry this is a little late, but my PG-13 muse is very flighty. I tried though! I love your art and you to bits, but you know that! ♥

Mostly inspired by this lovely pic. By leochi of course.

Also, I've snuck in awdt's prompt — "You're like sunshine on a cloudy day."

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Monster Attack

 

Harry sat on a sofa, petting his very upset boyfriend. Draco was lying down with his head in Harry's lap, and he had been doing so for the last half an hour, complaining without pause.

"— and they crawled all over me, and left weird sticky substance in my hair —"

"Your hair looks clean," Harry pointed out, threading his fingers through the blond strands.

"That's because I washed it three times," Draco sniffed. "Oh Merlin, Harry, they were so sticky and smelly. And I tried to hide from them, but they kept finding me! It was like they were drawn to me!"

"You're like sunshine on a cloudy day, of course they were drawn to you," Harry said with a straight face.

"Sun doesn't shine on a cloudy day," Draco complained, clearly determined to sulk. "Maybe they felt I was afraid of them and they wanted to torture me. Monsters."

Harry grinned. "I like my sunshine theory better."

"And there were so many of them, Harry! It was like an invasion!"

"Mmm," Harry murmured indulgently.

"I swear, they were after my blood."

"Of course they were."

Draco looked up at Harry and narrowed his eyes. "You're not taking me seriously, are you?"

"Not more than usual," Harry deadpanned. Draco spluttered and almost got up, but Harry amended quickly. "I always take you seriously, Draco." And then before he could stop himself, he added, "And very eagerly."

Draco glared. "This is not the time for sexual innuendo. I had a horrific experience, is it too much to expect some sympathy? After all, this was all your fault."

"I'm sympathizing!" Harry exclaimed indignantly, indicating their position.

"This is not sympathizing. You just have a hair fetish," Draco accused. "You should have rescued me."

"You needed rescuing?"

"Of course! There are some evils I can't fight. I did try to stomp on them —"

"Draco!" Harry gasped, horrified. "They aren't evil and you can't stomp on them!"

"Well clearly. They're too bloody fast."

"Draco, you can't stomp small children," Harry said firmly.

Draco looked at Harry as though the latter was insane. "I know that," he said incredulously. "But," he wondered, "I can stomp small Weasleys, can't I?"

Harry stopped petting Draco at once, and instead, he glared, not at all amused.

"Oh fine! Spoil my fun, why don't you?" Draco said poutily. "But you've let them knock me over and drool on me."

"They just wanted to kiss you. And that was adorable," Harry said fondly, remembering Draco sitting down on the grass, trying and failing to get up due to two small children fighting to sit on his lap. "You fell down too easily."

"They're surprisingly strong for such tiny beasts," Draco said defensively.

"They're not beasts," Harry scolded, but he resumed stroking Draco's hair because possibly, he did have a hair fetish. He bit his lip, before asking quietly, "Do you really hate children that much?"

"Just the sticky and smelly variety."

"I guess that's a yes, then." Harry hadn't even realized that his expression and tone were sad until Draco looked up at him, frowning and looking concerned, and perhaps a little guilty.

"Well, I ..." Draco's gaze softened. "I guess you like them?"

Harry said nothing, just caressed the smooth skin of Draco's forehead with his thumb. He did like children very much, especially Ron and Hermione's.

"I'm sorry," Draco said sadly. "Obviously, we can't have them." He looked away, asking in a neutral tone, "Do you regret that?"

"Of course not!" Harry said promptly, not needing to even think about that answer. "I have no regrets," he said with absolute certainty, emphasizing his statement by bending his head and giving Draco a quick peck on the lips. "But well," he continued hesitantly, "Rose and Hugo are the closest thing to my own children I'll ever have, and I want them to like me. I want them to like us. We could be like ... their cool uncles. Not stomping uncles."

Draco grinned and arched an eyebrow Harry. "You want us to be their friendly gay uncles?"

Harry laughed. "We have the gay part covered, now if you could only work on the friendly part."

Draco made an indistinct sound and then shook his head in dismay. "That's a very devious approach you have there. Now you made me feel guilty."

"I'm sure you'll get over it. More quickly than you should."

Much to Harry's disappointment, Draco raised his head, and got up. Then he sat down next to Harry, leaning in and pressing their foreheads together. "How about this? You'll be their friendly gay uncle and I'll be their obnoxiously rich gay uncle, who is not so friendly, but buys them extravagant presents?"

Harry gave him a disbelieving look, his lips quirking. "Let me get this straight; you don't like them so much you can't even be friendly, but you're willing to spend your very precious Galleons on them?" Harry smiled victoriously. "You liar. You adore them."

Draco looked perplexed and for several moments it appeared he had no idea what to say to this. Finally, he declared, "I do not."

"That was an exceedingly persuasive dispute," Harry teased.

"Oh shut up. Believe what you will," Draco mumbled and got up, dragging Harry with him, clearly desperate to steer the conversation in another direction. "We have more important things to discuss."

Now that he was sure Draco actually liked the Weasley children, but was merely reluctant to admit that, Harry stood up and followed Draco eagerly, especially after realizing that Draco was guiding him towards their bedroom. "Oh, such as?" Harry all but purred.

Draco nodded seriously and declared, "I've discovered I have a thing for friendly gay uncles. And I want to tell you all about it." He waggled his eyebrows and leered. "And then, if you're good, I'll show you just how much I like them."

Harry shivered in anticipation, quite pleased with this development. Walking into their room, he unbuttoned his shirt and took off his trousers in record speed.

And then, as he watched Draco undress himself, Harry cocked his head and grinned, staring at Draco's blond head speculatively. "Say, do you like friendly gay uncles enough to let them leave weird sticky substance in your hair?"

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Fin

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