04 August 2008 @ 06:51 pm
FIC: Two Twits and a Clever Lady (H/D; R; 1200)  
Fandom: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement intended.
Title: Two Twits and a Clever Lady
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: R
Word Count: ~1200
Genre: Humour
Status: Complete
Summary: Harry wants Draco, Draco wants Harry, and Pansy wants gold. All in all, this is not a bad situation.
Warnings: Hogwarts!fic, Pansy :D
Note: Written for [livejournal.com profile] enchanted_jae's Monthly Drabble Challenge. The prompt was "Would you do it for a/an _____?"


Two Twits and a Clever Lady

 

Knots were evil. Maybe it was just because it had been a Gryffindor tie, or maybe it had been charmed, but whatever the reason, the knot just wouldn't budge.

"Here," Harry whispered, raising his hands to gently push Draco's fingers away and undo the tie himself. Harry loosened the knot and took off the tie easily, making Draco wonder whether he had been fumbling earlier. Mercifully, Harry undid the buttons of his shirt next, but not quite as surely as his tie. This time Harry's fingers shook and fumbled.

Watching Harry struggle with his shirt, Draco concluded that his nervous looking companion was on to something there. They both had too much clothes on. The heat in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory was becoming unbearable. Which was hardly surprising, Draco thought as he reached out and his fingers brushed the taut skin of Harry's chest, because Harry was radiating heat.

Draco slid the white shirt over Harry's shoulders, and he would have taken it off completely, but Harry's shoulders were terribly distracting, and clearly begging to be bit.

Compelled, Draco leaned in and bit down on Harry's left shoulder, promptly soothing the bite with his tongue. Harry gasped, his whole body twisting and moving closer to Draco's mouth as his hands clutched Draco's waist desperately.

Trailing kisses and nips over Harry's neck, Draco's lips inevitably ended up pressed against Harry's sweet-tasting mouth. And sweet Merlin was Pansy right — this was truly intoxicating; pushing his tongue past Harry's lips and exploring eagerly until Harry slid his tongue alongside Draco's, humming deeply in his throat and taking control of the kiss before Draco even realized they were fighting for it.

Harry's hands crept beneath Draco's shirt, slowly caressing his sides, thumbs bravely pushing underneath the waistband of Draco's trousers, stroking the tender skin of Draco's lower spine.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked softly after they had parted, still breathing hotly into each other's mouth.

Draco barely finished nodding before Harry pushed him down on his back. He had found his voice and whispered, "Yes!" only after Harry settled between his thighs and unzipped his trousers. But that yes sounded more like a hiss of pleasure because Harry had promptly leaned in, nuzzling the soft patch of blond hair that peeked through the parted material and inhaling Draco's scent deeply.

Gasping for air, Draco placed his feet flat on the bed, and thrust his pelvis upwards, demanding further attention.

Harry obliged, freeing Draco's cock and then with a shuddering breath, he took it in his hands, tongue peeking out to lick the head tentatively. As Harry grew bolder and enveloped the tip of Draco's cock with his mouth, sucking and slurping inexpertly but perfectly, all Draco could think was, Oh fuck ten Galleons.

***
Earlier that day ...

"That's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard," Draco said flatly. "And I've known you for years."

"Oh I don't know. Everyone I talked to agrees. There must be something to it," Pansy argued as they walked towards the Great Hall to get some breakfast.

"Yes, there is something to it. It's called hero-worship. And it's sickening."

Pansy shrugged. "I've even heard that Potter is a part-veela and that's why he's so irresistible."

"Now there's a theory worthy of that Loony girl. I'm surprised at you, Pansy. And I'm not even dignifying the irresistible part with a comment."

"You just did," Pansy pointed out and then continued quickly. "I'm just repeating what others have said. Apparently, everyone says that once you've had a taste of Harry Potter you can never get enough."

"Crazy people. All of them. Someone should set them straight," Draco scoffed. "No pun intended."

"I suppose you think you could resist him?" Pansy asked, her eyes twinkling.

"Obviously."

"Care to bet? I'll give you ten Galleons if you kiss Potter and walk away. But if you don't manage ..."

"You're joking? That would be the easiest gold I'd ever made." Draco grinned, his voice turning dreamy. "I should do it publicly. For maximum humiliation. Potter would freak out. It would be beautiful."

"Hmm. I'd be worried if you weren't crushing on him so much."

Draco gasped and then spluttered indignantly all the way to the Great Hall. Once there, he had recovered sufficiently to sneer and whisper into Pansy's ear, "You're forgetting something. Once I kiss him, Potter will hex me into next week, and I won't get a chance to kiss him again." Draco sat down in a huff. "Thank Merlin I have such silly friends. At least I'll be ten Galleons richer," he declared, murdering his food with a fork.

Pansy turned around and snickered into her pumpkin juice.

***
And the day before ...

"No," Pansy said quietly — because they were in the library, and determinedly — because seriously.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like you, Potter. And saying no to you makes my day," Pansy explained patiently, not moving her gaze from the book she was reading.

"But I really think Draco would want this too. Then this could make him happy as well. Possibly, you would be doing him a favour. Don't you care?"

"No. Not really."

"But —"

"If you're so sure he wants you, Potter, why not gather some of that famous Gryffindor courage and ask him yourself?"

"Well I'm not that sure. But you're his friend, I thought you could —"

"Oh I could. I could deliver him to you naked and bound and covered with chocolate, if I wished. Which I don't."

"I'm not asking for anything that drastic. I just thought you could talk to him ... Wait. Really?"

Pansy looked at him and smirked, and then went back to reading her book. "Goodbye, Potter."

Moping and scowling, Potter turned around, but after a few steps he was back again.

"Would you do it for ten Galleons?"

Pansy snapped her book shut and reached out with her hand, palm upwards. "Now that's how you negotiate with a Slytherin, Potter."

Potter narrowed his eyes. "I'm not giving you anything until I see some results."

Pansy sighed and picked up her things. "Draco will snog you tomorrow evening in the Great Hall. But after that — you're on your own."

"Don't worry," Potter grinned cockily. "I'll manage from there."

***
Back to present ...

Pansy hummed softly, quite pleased with herself. She was twenty Galleons richer, because Draco and Potter were complete idiots. Additionally, Draco would stop moping around and throwing sad looks in Potter's direction and sighing his 'Potter will never want me!' sighs. Though admittedly, Pansy hadn't known that Draco was so crazy for Potter he was ready to say goodbye to ten Galleons. It must be love.

But Pansy still didn't get her gold, and there was always a chance that the ungrateful brats would bail out on her. So.

Pansy adjusted her broom and directed her Omnioculars towards the Gryffindor Tower. After a couple of tries she guessed the right window.

"Oh!" Pansy gasped. And pressed the record button.

Harry Potter lay naked and sweaty on his four-poster bed, staring at equally naked Draco with wide eyes; his wrists were pressed firmly down on either side of his body by Draco's hands, his nipples taut as Draco licked and sucked them, pink tongue peeking and swirling sinuously as Potter thrashed around, twisting his body futilely as he was clearly trapped beneath his lover. And then Potter threw his head back, his body thrusting upwards as Draco freed his hands and straightened. Draco grinned at Potter, then rolled his hips and slammed down on Potter's thick cock.

Pansy almost fell off her broom, but she managed to hold on.

Watching avidly at Draco's hard cock that bobbed as he jumped up and down while Potter thrust upwards savagely, his hands clutching Draco's hips, steadying him and helping him move, Pansy almost forgot about her twenty Galleons.

Because fuck. She could sell this recording for so much more.


Fin


 

 
 
Current Mood: cheerful
 
 
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( Post a new comment )
[identity profile] dysonrules.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:03 pm (UTC)
HAHAHA! Oh I love Pansy so so SO much. She's gonna get rich on the blackmail ALONE. (After she watches it a trillion or so times...)
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
Haha! She should sell it on eBay! :D

Thank you, love! *squishes*
(no subject) - [identity profile] original101.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 07:27 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 5th, 2008 12:03 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] thrnbrooke.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:08 pm (UTC)
Oh Pansy you evil genius!!!!!
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you for commenting, love!
[identity profile] malachix.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:09 pm (UTC)
That is fabulous! Pansy is complete and utter WIN.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love!
[identity profile] j-folked.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:09 pm (UTC)
Just made my day. Honestly.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:27 pm (UTC)
Glad it did! Thank you!
[identity profile] helenadax.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:19 pm (UTC)
I understand Pansy! Short, but cute and hot ^^
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:27 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much, love!
[identity profile] aprettyeternity.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:21 pm (UTC)
:DDDDDD

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

That's what I feel right now.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:27 pm (UTC)
LOL! Thank you, love!
[identity profile] adamei.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:23 pm (UTC)
lol, go Pansy, I've never liked her more!! :)
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
She's something else!

Thank you for commenting!
[identity profile] pepper202.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:35 pm (UTC)
*falls off of desk chair laughing hysterically*
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:28 pm (UTC)
No! Not again! :D

Thank you, love!
[identity profile] bryoneybrynn.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:49 pm (UTC)
Oh our boys. Silly, trusting Harry, thinking that Pansy would be a safe person to ask for help. Silly, SILLY Draco, thinking he could walk away. And god bless fanon!Pansy. I adore her beyond reason.

Awesome.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
Thank you, love!

Heh. Fanon!Pansy pawns canon!Pansy.
[identity profile] love-stoned0-0.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:52 pm (UTC)
That was awesome! I love a good Pansy. I most definitely would have fallen off my broom.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
So would I! Thank you so much!
[identity profile] heathen-arcade.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 05:57 pm (UTC)
Haha! Go Pansy! This was so much fun. :)
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love!
[identity profile] lotus-lizzy.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:20 pm (UTC)
Oh I want that video! Just one kiss, yeah right! I love that Draco didn't figure he had lost until he was already up with Harry in his dorm room. :)
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 06:33 pm (UTC)
I think until that point he was vaguely regretting the loss of his gold! :D

Thank you for reading, love!
[identity profile] okydoky.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 07:45 pm (UTC)
Heee that was great! I love an interfering Pansy ;)
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:02 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! ♥
[identity profile] whisperings.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 08:08 pm (UTC)
hehe, that was amasing! I absolutely loved Pansy. <333
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! :D
[identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 08:10 pm (UTC)
Brilliant! I ♥ Pansy. :D
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love!
[identity profile] hambares.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 08:16 pm (UTC)
Tee hee! Pansy is a gold loving woman! I'd have dropped all teh gold and just watched!
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:04 pm (UTC)
Haha. She wants both! :D

Thank you for reading!
[identity profile] frankkincense.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 08:23 pm (UTC)
Heh. I'm going to make a notebook of your last lines for whenever I'm feeling irritated/unloved/generally blue. :)

So much fun! Pansy, she rocks. ;)
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:05 pm (UTC)
LOL! Thank you so much, love! Glad you liked!
[identity profile] shawn-anne.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:07 pm (UTC)
I wish I were Pansy. *dreamy sigh*

Anywho,love, you totally made me happy. And bottoming from the top to boot. I could probably snog you silly for this. *grins* I'll settle for squeezing the stuffing out of you. *huggles tightly*
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:19 pm (UTC)
Weeeeee! Thank you, love! Oh, I do love bottoming from the top as well!

*hugs*


[identity profile] abusing-sarcasm.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:25 pm (UTC)
*squee*

This was great!!! I recently did that "What HP character do I remind you of" meme, and one of my friends said I was like fanon!Pansy. And this perfectly illustrates why. :D

Awesome story, hon!!!

*hugs*
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 5th, 2008 11:59 am (UTC)
Thank you so much, love!

As long as you're fanon!Pansy and not canon!Pansy! :D
[identity profile] frayach.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:27 pm (UTC)
Brilliant! I love it! Clever and hot and funny. Pansy is a Slytherin's Slytherin :D

The first part is my favorite. Erotic writing par excellence. You are the reigning goddess of PWPs *leaves burnt offerings*
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 5th, 2008 12:00 pm (UTC)
*preens*

I hope being a goddess of PWPs means I get to have a slave army of nekkid men. Um.

Thank you so much, love!

And you're Fray again! *\o/*
[identity profile] transitive111.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:29 pm (UTC)
Oh, our silly, stupid boys. LOL that was fantastic. Pansy rocks.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 5th, 2008 12:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
[identity profile] ravenqueen55.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:32 pm (UTC)
Oh, brilliant, scheming Pansy is just delightful!
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 5th, 2008 12:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love!
[identity profile] kittie8571.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 09:39 pm (UTC)
Love it! Pansy's too funny . . . and damn lucky too.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 5th, 2008 12:01 pm (UTC)
That she is! Thank you!

And happy birthday, love!

I'm a wee bit busy, so I won't be fast, but if you wish to leave me a prompt I'll write you a bday ficlet. In a week or two probably. :(
(no subject) - [identity profile] kittie8571.livejournal.com on August 5th, 2008 02:42 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 5th, 2008 06:30 pm (UTC)
[identity profile] misconstrue.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 10:22 pm (UTC)
*dies* THIS is why I love Pansy, because it takes a woman like Pansy to do good and PROFIT from doing so much good. :B

laskdjflsak hot! unwitting!Draco is so my favorite. I love when he's all befuddled and top!Harry takes control.
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 5th, 2008 12:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, love!

I love when he's all befuddled and top!Harry takes control.

Haha. GOOD! Cuz I seem to be on a befuddled!Draco and top!Harry spree lately. :D
[identity profile] utteramusement.livejournal.com on August 4th, 2008 10:28 pm (UTC)
ROLF! *then reflects on what just happened and is dead by OD of hotness *

OMG! Pansy you're holding on to GOLD right there!
faithwood.livejournal.com[identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com on August 5th, 2008 12:02 pm (UTC)
She should sell it on eBay. *is hopeful*

Thank you, love! Glad you like!