Fandom: Harry Potter
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement intended.
Title: Filch's Fun
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~500 (Okay, okay, I'm lying. More like 1400. *hides* They should be bellow 500.)
Status: I hereby declare this is the Halloween Quickie Series, part 2 of 5. This part could be read as a standalone, but in that case it might give you odd ideas.
Summary: One fine day Filch escaped certain death without even knowing he had been in danger.
Note: Written for awdt's Halloween Quickies, prompt #2 was: A picture of a moon (and the window looks like a Hogwarts window).



#1: Ghostly Fun
#2:

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Filch's Fun

Presently, Argus Filch's anger could only be rivalled by his glee. If there was one thing he both hated and loved it was finding students out of bed past curfew. The little brats were used to doing everything they wanted — thanks to their stupid magic — so when one gave them a silly little rule they all rushed to break it. Ungrateful idiots.

Argus scowled at his captive, the student that had been a source of irritation to Argus for some time now. You’d think that after all that had happened, Draco Malfoy would learn some humility, but he was still traipsing the school corridors as if he owned the place. His family was no longer as powerful as they used to be; on the contrary, these days they were widely labelled as nothing more than ex-Death Eater scum.

Which is why no one would mind if Argus administrated a special and much desired punishment on the Malfoy boy. Or so Argus hoped. Not that he planned to tell anyone what he had done. This particular punishment, much to Argus' sadness, wasn't really allowed. But that was irrelevant; no one was coming to Malfoy's rescue.

"Put them on!" Argus barked for the second time in two minutes.

Malfoy crossed his arms on his chest and glared back defiantly. "Over your dead body."

Argus frowned, clutching Malfoy's wand that he had previously confiscated and that was now useless in his Squib hands.

Argus and Malfoy were currently located in the high, narrow tower, next to the Owlery. There was no furniture here, just one window through which moonlight illuminated polished chains and manacles hanging from the hook on the northern wall. Oh how Argus loved this room, but unfortunately, he had never had a chance to take someone here.

"If you don't," Argus threatened. "I'll tell everyone you've been writing those nasty messages to Potter all over the castle. What was it? 'Potter will pay for being gay!' Sounds like you're upset Potter is alive and happy. I bet they could throw you into Azkaban for that one. Threatening to our Saviour like that ... Nasty business."

Malfoy's eyes looked frighteningly large, and he seemed very confused. "But I didn't write those! I don't really mind that Po —" Malfoy stopped talking suddenly.

"Then how do you explain me finding you with a bucket of permanent pink ink, which was clearly used for this purpose?"

Malfoy's expression turned blank. "But you didn't ..." Realization must have struck the blond, because his grey eyes were glaring again. "You imbecile!"

"Mind your tongue with me! Who do you think the Headmistress will believe?" Argus asked nastily. "If I tell her you've done it, she'll believe it immediately! I can make sure you get expelled." Argus couldn't help laughing loudly and gleefully as he pointed at the chains. "Now put the manacles on!"

Delightfully miserable and defeated, Malfoy sniffed and opened his mouth to argue some more, but then he resignedly moved to the wall.

"I'll get you for this," Malfoy threatened even as he shuddered and let the happily clicking chains bind his wrists. The locks clicked and the chains flew upwards so Malfoy was left standing with his back to the wall, his hands trapped and raised high above his head. "This isn't fair." Malfoy pouted and yanked on the chains futilely.

Ignoring the boy's grumbling, Argus took a moment to enjoy the view before he grinned and walked towards the rusty door. "I'll come back for you. Eventually," he laughed again as Malfoy shivered, looking more irate than scared. Oh but he'd be scared soon enough, Argus thought. Malfoy wasn't leaving this place anytime soon.

Still laughing, Argus stepped out and shut the door. Then, he turned around and unexpectedly bumped into something solid, which promptly caused him to scream in fright. Calming his rapidly beating heart, it took Argus a few moments to realize he had just run straight into Harry Potter.

"Potter, you're out of bed!" he wheezed, clutching his chest.

"I'm the Head Boy, remember? I'm allowed to stay out past curfew," Potter said quietly, making his statement sound almost like a threat, and Argus was indeed forced to remember that yelling at Harry Potter without a solid reason wasn't the brightest idea these days. His status notwithstanding, Potter's glare carried more weight this year, perhaps only because everyone had seen this glare directed at the Dark Lord and that was no small matter. Before Argus could say anything, Potter continued, still speaking in that same quiet tone. "I saw you drag Malfoy up here. Where is he?"

Argus carefully studied Potter's expression; the boy seemed angry and Argus now wondered if Potter too concluded that Malfoy was the one writing those messages on the walls.

"What did you do to him?" Potter growled, looking murderous.

Argus flinched. Really now, Potter was clearly keen to get his revenge on Malfoy. Perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to let him get his retribution. Well, at this point Argus thought it would be a bad idea to deny Potter anything. Potter's gaze spat fire, his face was contorted in rage, and the knuckles of his fingers were white due to gripping his wand too tightly. "Where — is he?" he roared and Argus unconsciously took a step back. He could only find comfort in the fact that Potter was obviously mad at Malfoy not at him; as the latter would make no sense.

Still, Argus fumbled and trembled as he quickly opened the door to the Tower. Potter rudely shoved past him, his gaze immediately falling on the chained figure inside. Malfoy, to Argus' delight, spoke not a word due to obvious shock of seeing Potter.

Potter's gaze raked over Malfoy's frame and then he turned his head and narrowed his eyes at Argus. "Have you done something to him?" Potter's body shook with obvious fury, and Argus had to swallow his sudden fear, not used to seeing Potter looking so wrathful.

"No, no. I haven't touched him! I figured," Argus was thinking fast, "you should be the one to punish him." He nodded. "He had wronged you with those nasty messages. You should take care of him." Argus held his breath as Potter stared at him with a peculiar expression.

"Pardon?" Potter said at last.

"Yes, yes. I'll just leave and ..." Argus moved backwards to the exit. "And let you do what ever you wish to the Malfoy boy. We can keep this between ourselves." Argus smiled nervously.

Potter glanced at Malfoy and then, to Argus' relief, he seemed to have relaxed a little. "Right," he said slowly, still giving Argus an odd look. "I'll take care of him then."

Malfoy made a funny little sound, almost like a whimper.

Argus grinned wider, convinced he'd be leaving Malfoy in ... capable hands. This Potter boy, mad though he was, had an obvious, albeit unexpected, sadistic streak. And Argus did appreciate such things.

"You do that, Potter. Just don't forget I've helped you out here," he added, somewhat worriedly, if only to make Potter stop staring at him with that unnerving expression.

"Of course," Potter murmured. "But in the future, leave Malfoy to me. I'll keep him in line." Potter smiled sweetly, white teeth gleaming on the moonlight, and Argus concluded then and there that seeing Potter smiling like that was the most frightening thing he ever had the misfortune of seeing.

"Of course, of course. No problem. Done deal, Potter." Argus rambled. "Don't worry. If I ever catch Malfoy —"

"Goodbye," Potter said dismissively and Argus stumbled backwards and exited quickly, slamming the door shut.

Outside, he took several deep breaths to calm himself, but then, unable to resist, he pressed his left ear against the door. Listening for a bit, he relaxed. Nothing calmed him more than someone else's distress.

Potter was mumbling about murder, the crazy sod, and Malfoy was saying things like, "No, no. That wouldn't be wise." And then after several moments of silence, Malfoy was groaning and begging — oh how pathetic, Argus thought — and Potter said, "Don't worry. I'll take care of you," in a low, scratchy voice, that made Argus flinch a little. Then he heard odd little slurping sounds, and he had no idea what Potter was doing, but judging by the rattle of chains and the broken moans the Malfoy boy was producing, he concluded that Potter was doing something horrible.

Snickering, Argus walked away, secure in the knowledge that Malfoy would scream himself hoarse this night. And Malfoy would watch his steps from now on, fearful of being chained and left to Potter's mercy.

As Malfoy's loud cry of "Ah! Potter, you beast!" penetrated the night, Argus congratulated himself for being so perceptive and easily recognizing Potter's sadistic desires.

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#3: Caught
#4: Backfired
#5: Coming Out