Crazy Post of Crazy and a H/D Drabble

[faithwood]

Well, I spent these last few days hopping around and reading my flist and hd_inspired fics. Okay, I was limping around rather than hopping but I like the word hopping at the moment cuz it makes me remember bryoneybrynn's awesome He Was He and I Was Bunny (How awesome is that title?) fic and Bunny!Harry!

Oh I want a bunny! But my dog would probably eat it. Or molest it. Cuz he's a perv. Seriously, what is it with dogs and their obsession with their own bits? Lick that somewhere else! And stop making those SOUNDS! JESUS! "NOM, NOM, NOM! It's so delicious!" Honestly!

---

Speaking of hd_inspired ... I looked over the prompts — I'm not joining cuz I'm a wuss, but it was still a fun read. Though, what's up with Lubrication Charms being a squick? Sometimes I get annoyed if Harry and Draco end up somewhere in isolation and then one of them produces lube out of their pocket. You can pull that off once or twice but not always. Or they use spit and it's their first time. Or they use spit but there's no rimming. *shakes head* That's just wrong. Sure, there's no need for penetration, I like me some BJ-pron and frotting, but well, what if I want it? Hmm.

Though it would be cool and funny if Draco randomly pulls out a tube of lube out of his sombrero.

Providing he has a sombrero. And he totally does.

I mean, I get it. Being annoyed when foreplay is ignored and even Stretching Charms are added to the mix. (LOL! Stretching Charms!) But sometimes things like that can work BETTER, and they even make more sense, so I was just surprised it's listed as a sqiuck.

It makes you wonder though, did anyone think of Orgasm Charms yet? Y'know:

---

Harry: Drrrrrraco. *waggles eyebrows*
Draco: I'm having fun with my Wii. Leave me alone!
Harry: But I'm in the mooooood! *sways hips*
Draco: I'm in the middle of something! *takes out wand* But here. Orgasmo!
Harry: OOOOOOOOOOH BABY!
Draco: Yeah, yeah.

---

And of course, that could be a commercial and then there'd be this caption that says:

Orgasm Charms: When one wand fails — the other delivers!

---

*cough*

So the prompt for this week at hd100 is faith. Hmm. Now, you say faith, I think bondage. Okay, sure, you say anything, I think bondage. But whatever. So naturally I had to go and write a porny drabble. I posted it there, cuz that's my serious drabble. *puts serious face on* Watch me scramble to give depth to bondage.

---

And now that I've read, and walked and all that for like three days, I shall go and write that growling!Harry that's been bugging me and buggering Draco for some time now.

Excerpt to prove I'm writing this:

---

"How does this concern me, Weasley?" Draco said airily, secretly dreading the answer. The noise coming from down the hallway was starting to sound more and more like — well, Harry. Or more accurately, like Harry in that mood.

Draco suppressed a pleasant shudder. That was usually Draco's favourite Harry-mood, but right now, with Weasley around and the fact that Draco hadn't caused this rabid behaviour, it was out of place and worrying.

---

Oh! And have you seen the new movie poster for HBP? Isn't it beautiful? It's like a hint, y'know, that the movie will be DARK!

---

And probably no one cares but OH MY GOD! Eustace Scrubb! He's perfect — I want to slap him already! /Narnia moment.

---

ETA: Why? Why? I was perfectly HAPPY and then WHAM! I said I wouldn't DO fests. NOT YET! *weeps* I'll have to write something LONG! With thousands of words. No, I don't have to but I HAVE TO! What possessed me? WHY?

Comments

[marguerite-26.livejournal.com]

Lubrication Charm squick was a surprise for me, too.

I had no idea people didn't like it until I started reading through that prompt list. ::ponders::

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

There were other things listed as squicks that made me o.O I think I remember someone listing bad sentence structure as their squick. NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!

Um. Now that someone will come here and say "That was me, you beeyotch!"

[sesheta-66.livejournal.com]

Lubrication charm ... not sure why that's a squick.

*snickers* Orgasm Charm. Cute. And handy. Or hands-free, as it were. :D

That poster? Stunning. No, really. I have no words. Or rather, all I have are words. Dark - good description.

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

*shrugs* Dunno either!

I'm not bitter about that poster. I don't care. I wasn't expecting pretty pictures. Or, you know, the damn trailer! *nods convincingly*

[softly-sweetly.livejournal.com]

The poster is a little too colourful for me /sarcasm

Orgasm Charms: When one wand fails — the other delivers! omfg you've killed me with teh lols!!

Seriously, that needs to be a ficlet.

I'm glad you're all happy and bouncy *hugs*

Also... you should totally play in HD_I *eggs you on*

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

Seriously, that needs to be a ficlet.

Ha. Like one of the boys keeps casting that charm, not choosing time and place, and the other insists he has epilepsy when someone asks why he's twitching.

I'm always bouncy!

But I'm still a wuss. I'll do fests in a year.

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

I lied. *faints*

[bryoneybrynn.livejournal.com]

Meh, I like myself a quick lubrication charm - why the fuck not? In real life, lube is always too cold and leaves your hands all gicky - which is sometimes fine but sometimes you end up having to wipe off on the sheets and then they're all gunky BEFORE you're ready for them to be. Plus, I've rolled on a tube of lube more than once and put a crimp in the moment. If I had the option, I'd totally use a charm. So take that no lube charm people! Ha!

I'm in agreement on the no stretching charm though - that's just lame.

And hee! on orgasmo and on wii!Draco! lol

Now post the growly fic!

[bryoneybrynn.livejournal.com]

And also, thanks for the ficlove. :)

[hazel-wand.livejournal.com]

Oh oh oh EUSTACE!! I love Dawn Treader and the whole Eustace story. And I heard Will Poulter do an interview on the radio and he really impressed me, so am hopeful.

(I am a girt big Narnia geek - I wrote part of my dissertation on it. I am trying to avoid the temptation of nosing around Narnia fandom.)

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

Yay! Isn't he perfect? I'm already prepared to be all "Grrr you silly boy!" and then all "Go, Eustace!"

Have you heard about the leaked script for TDT? *is worried*

*resists the urge to point you towards a Aslan/White Witch drabble*

[heathen-arcade.livejournal.com]

Nice drabble! Draco's mind is always an interesting place. ;)

As far as squicks go, it seems like they're being used to direct. I read girlie!men squicks as "no, 15 year old writers who haven't had enough experience with men or sex to fictionalize a believeable gay couple." I read lubrication spell squick as "no fuck-by-numbers scene that leaves me un-horny". (Something that you, my dear, will never have to worry about.) Maybe I'm wrong and they are literal, absolute squicks.

I did some of that, and maybe shouldn't have. (since no one's picked it yet) Muggle-bashing's isn't an instant back button. I will, however, get hostile for about an hour after a three paragraph attack against science or people on a different side of a genetic lottery. "Like ya know the poor, and people that didn't like me in high school, but like... deeper." *punch wall*

Well... maybe it was good I listed it.

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

Bashing is my biggest squick. Any kind of bashing, so I get that.

But well, if no-Lube Charms is shorthand for "no unfulfilling/non-detailed sex-scenes" ... Dunno, isn't that pointless? "I'm squicked by bad/mechanical/too quick sex scenes!" Eh. "I'm squicked by bad writing!" Eh. Really now.

*blushes at compliment*

And I'm glad you liked the drabble!

[kaykayen.livejournal.com]

*tackles you* You've made my day with teh ramblings! Pervy dog, sombrero lube, Orgasmo, and drabbles... Maybe you need to cast an Orgasmo charm at your dog ~_^

And, oh, your gorgeous drabble: Harry, all strength and power, bound and helpless as he writhes and twists; sweat pooling on his stomach; hard muscles turning sensitive, quivering under Draco's touch *shivers* you gave me goosebumps. What a lovely picture.

It's about memorizing Harry's faith in him. perfection.

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

Maybe you need to cast an Orgasmo charm at your dog ~_^

*laughs until she has a seizure*

JESUS! :D :D :D :D :D

That would SOOOO solve my problem!

*dies*

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

And thank you! I'm happy you liked the drabble! *hugs*

[lavillanueva.livejournal.com]

Now, you say faith, I think bondage. Okay, sure, you say anything, I think bondage.

It's like we have the same mind! And I think you give depth to bondage quite nicely, thank you. Most people couldn't, but it's probably one of those things that come with lots and lots of practice, yeah? *winks*

Lubrication charms as a squick? Part of me thinks it's not so much that they're a squick, but that the person really, really likes seeing them do it the muggle way: fingers and lube and stretching and/or rimming. And I agree with them, preparation the muggle way is hot. So they're really just asking for a kink to be met by claiming it's a squick if it's not. Hmm, how very Slytherin of them...

I have read (bad!)fics with orgasm charms before. Yes I have. Usually they're pretty silly, but I think Sweet by Lydia Bennet has a kind of orgasm charm, and it's h-o-t hot.

Mmm, growling!Harry... he's my favorite, too. Go write!

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

See, but that's the thing, I do like "the muggle way" and more often than not I use it in fics. But sometimes it makes sense to go with the charm. Sure if you have a long romantic scene and you wait for the main course for hours and then you get just cold cheese (/stupid metaphor, ignore) it's hair-pulling annoying, but the person requesting the fic doesn't know how things will play out. A public!quickie? Lube charm make sense there, how could it be a squick?

So they're really just asking for a kink to be met by claiming it's a squick if it's not.

Well, they shouldn't confuse me then! >.<

Wow! Orgasm Charms! *googles fic*

But my growling!Harry is also fluffy. Heh.

[aldehyde.livejournal.com]

orgasmo charm sounds hilarious ;)

i find lube charms to be very practical, i only wish they existed in real life, hmpf. at the same time, i want lube charms to be part of tons of foreplay, not as a quickstopfix [unless the boys are incredibly randy and in a semi-public place where they need to be quick, etc].

o well.
looking fwd to reading all the good fics now that the claiming is complete. hee!

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

That too. Foreplay can still be long and WOW even if LC is used. So, yeah, the more I think about it the more it sounds like people were trying to ask for GOOD sex! :D :D :D

Well, let's hope the fics will be full of awesome sex-scenes.

[micolerose.livejournal.com]

you make me giggle

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

*snickers* I love making people giggle!

[bemygoodday.livejournal.com]

I've seen a few others out there too that I think might be fake. really like these though. Especially the first one.

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

They're too good not to be fake. :(

[dirty-darella.livejournal.com]

I think you're page is cursed, lol, everytime I try to leave a comment it fails the first time. o.O

Er anyway, I don't know anything about fests *is such a n00b* but I hope it all works out and you have fun. :)

And I bet orgasm charms were invented by the Marauders, but JKR edited it out. XD

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

I've cursed it to confuse you!

Is that your art on that icon? I like it. Either way, you have the link to the bigger pic? *bats eyelashes*

[nightlo.livejournal.com]

I like your orgasm charm, that's really brilliant and fantastics! But I guess you need 'much' energy to give the receiver a mindblowing success! Then maybe they may ask...the actual act is much much easier than the charm...unless you are really occupied (i.e. with a dark wizard or a teacher around)

BTW, I really wonder if lubrication and stretching charms exist, though I understand these are fanfic and we should never question...however, without foreplay, the stories seem a little bit less hot and intense...as the emotions' exchange can paint really a good picture/image!

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

Well, it's like a simple Conjuring Charm, no? Surely they HAVE lube so ...

I get preferring no charm but listing it as a squick ... I find that strange.

[byaghro.livejournal.com]

I literally HOWLED with laughter over this:

And of course, that could be a commercial and then there'd be this caption that says:

Orgasm Charms: When one wand fails — the other delivers!

And then promptly made an icon! I'm still working on getting text to appear clearly though. *kicks text*

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha! The icon is awesome! :D :D :D

*nabs*

Oh, there's gotta be a way to use it inappropriately. *plots*

[lilith1631.livejournal.com]

I like the orgasmo ad! And the drabble to aid it...Who is in the room with Harry in the second one? >.< Tell him he is just wanking! Please!

[faithwood.livejournal.com]

Yasy!

The second one was an excerpt from Weaselling.