Veela crack! :D I will never ever, ever have enough of veela crack! :D :D
Cock-like line had me in stiches! Actually the whole thing made my day *offers bribe to which ever part of your mind came up this idea*

Hm... I'm pretty sure I've read a fic or two (or three) where a bottom keeps both his knickers and skirt on during sex. Not a top 'm afraid. There definitely should be one though.